It was thanksgiving weekend here in Canada and we decided to take the kids hiking in Gatineau Park. As a general rule I don't like to hike unless there some kind of reward at the end so my favourite trail is Luskville Falls. The only advantage/problem with this trail is that it's a 2 km climb up the side of a hill to some very picturesque lookouts. In fact at the top you are 100 meters in elevation. Considering we would be hiking with a 2 year old, a 4 year old and a couple of grandparents I wondered to myself if this was really a good idea. Nicholas spent most of the hike in a baby carrier but Juliette, amazingly, did the full 4 km hike all by herself. It just goes to show you that kids can accomplish anything if they put their mind to it. It was a great day spent with the family and I hope we can make it an annual outing.
I am the father of three, Juliette YOB 2000, Nicholas YOB 2002 and Sophie YOB 2005. I want to try and record some stories on a regular basis about my day-to-day activities with my children. I'm hopping that when they get older and ask me for funny stories from when they were little I'll have something to refer to. P.S. The Ultimate in ultimatedad is a reference to the sport.
Friday, October 15, 2004
Juliette by the Sea
Recently my aunt sent me an email with some stories of her own regarding my Juliette. As usual any submissions about your experiences with my kids are more than welcome.
July 2004
On a clear summer day I received a call from Juliette’s mom that she was coming to Halifax for a work related conference and asked if we would like Juliette to stay with us for four days. I thought it was wonderful and agreed with only a little concern that a four year old child who had never come to our home before would be lonely and fearful without a parent. I had faith that Juliette’s parents knew their daughter better than I, and it would be an adventure.
July 13th - to July 16th, 2004
The plane had landed and passengers were in the airport by the time I parked the car and found Juliette and her mom by the luggage turnstile. Juliette was carrying a small back pack and ran with open arms to greet me. Her mom was all smiles and managing her bags like a pro. Juliette has the best hug – small strong arms and solid kisses.
We arrive at the house and here Juliette looked around with pleasure at the gardens and the ocean view. But her response to her bedroom is the most charming of all. She walked into the bedroom and saw the television. She asked incredulously “is this all mine?”.” Yes.” I confirm.
She turns to her mother and says with a wave of her hand, holding it aloft as though supporting a wand “this is my room, and I have a TV!” Then she proceeds into the walk through closet with tub, and asks again “is this mine too?” I assent again, and she states emphatically with ownership now “this is my bathroom and closet!” Her mom is gracious and calming, pointing out to Juliette that she is not to watch TV unless requesting me first. Juliette has brought some of her own videos to watch, so is well prepared.
The first evening passes quickly and Juliette’s mom goes to stay in Halifax as she prepares for the conference.
Our days are filled with little girl activities, and Juliette never is tired or bored. Neither did she express feeling lonely except for one morning, about day three when she awakened slowly, saying “I am sad!” Touching her softly and asking gently “why”, she said “I miss mommy and daddy.” Nodding I agree “it is sad that they are not here to play with us.” Immediately, she brightened and said “well – let’s go play!” In the spirit of a child she simply could not dwell on the things she had no power to control.
There were many outstanding moments when Juliette made discoveries in her new world by the ocean. One day we went to The Range; a long stretch of flat sandy beach where her great-uncle was windsurfing with friends. It was cool on the beach and after searching among the rocks a world of small sea creatures living there, we walked up to the grassy area for protection from the wind off the water. To our delight we found wild strawberries. Juliette enjoyed eating them and would punctuate her picking with “oh yumm!” I kept walking on a bit to see if there might be more strawberries and it appears we had discovered a bounty of them. As we would come to a new patch, Juliette would mimic me with exhuberance, “oh, look at these ones – they are so big and juicy!” I noticed after almost an hour of this picking and wandering to bigger and better patches that Juliette was laying flat on her stomach to pick. When she stood up her pants and shirt were covered with bright pink stains of strawberry juice. She looked like a walking advertisement for fruit bliss. Her cheeks were rosy, “like her father” I thought, and smiled to myself, hoping the stains would come out from her clothes in the wash or her parents might think she cut herself. We walked back to the car happily filled with the juice of wild berries in our cheeks. I would not have had this day without Juliette – too busy doing chores around the house to claim such small pleasures. Now I take the time Juliette taught me never to ignore.
Another little gem is after watching a movie, cuddled in HER ROOM, we kept singing the refrain of the movies theme “everybody …everybody…every….body - wants to be a C…Cat!” As we continued this we started to dance to it. When she would wiggle her bum, as though shaking her tail or sing it to Magic who was a cat, looking at him with her shoulders raised, I would burst out laughing. It was sheer pleasure to enjoy her spirit. I fell head over heels in love.
Still we had our moments of tears. On her last day while walking to the beach she fell and dirt got into a cut on her hand. I washed it out with fresh water I found in a container near the beach, as best as I could and suggested we go home to put on a bandaide. “No, let’s stay here on the beach awhile.” That was fine with me, and after collecting old logs, sticks, shells and seaweed we made a modern sculpture from all our findings. In the end, we adorned it with wild flowers and stood back to admire our creation. I flashed back to the many Sundays that as little girls, my sister (Juliette’s grandmother) and I, made many such beautiful constructions at Westfield Beach.
When Juliette and I returned to the house after our walk her mom was on the deck, and Juliette was totally happy to see her mother. It was the sad duty mom had to clean the wound from the beach. I was a pathetic nurse. Still Juliette was brave and repaired quickly. The next day my new friend left for her home and I was left a richer person.
Love always,
Her special great aunt from Nova Scotia
July 2004
On a clear summer day I received a call from Juliette’s mom that she was coming to Halifax for a work related conference and asked if we would like Juliette to stay with us for four days. I thought it was wonderful and agreed with only a little concern that a four year old child who had never come to our home before would be lonely and fearful without a parent. I had faith that Juliette’s parents knew their daughter better than I, and it would be an adventure.
July 13th - to July 16th, 2004
The plane had landed and passengers were in the airport by the time I parked the car and found Juliette and her mom by the luggage turnstile. Juliette was carrying a small back pack and ran with open arms to greet me. Her mom was all smiles and managing her bags like a pro. Juliette has the best hug – small strong arms and solid kisses.
We arrive at the house and here Juliette looked around with pleasure at the gardens and the ocean view. But her response to her bedroom is the most charming of all. She walked into the bedroom and saw the television. She asked incredulously “is this all mine?”.” Yes.” I confirm.
She turns to her mother and says with a wave of her hand, holding it aloft as though supporting a wand “this is my room, and I have a TV!” Then she proceeds into the walk through closet with tub, and asks again “is this mine too?” I assent again, and she states emphatically with ownership now “this is my bathroom and closet!” Her mom is gracious and calming, pointing out to Juliette that she is not to watch TV unless requesting me first. Juliette has brought some of her own videos to watch, so is well prepared.
The first evening passes quickly and Juliette’s mom goes to stay in Halifax as she prepares for the conference.
Our days are filled with little girl activities, and Juliette never is tired or bored. Neither did she express feeling lonely except for one morning, about day three when she awakened slowly, saying “I am sad!” Touching her softly and asking gently “why”, she said “I miss mommy and daddy.” Nodding I agree “it is sad that they are not here to play with us.” Immediately, she brightened and said “well – let’s go play!” In the spirit of a child she simply could not dwell on the things she had no power to control.
There were many outstanding moments when Juliette made discoveries in her new world by the ocean. One day we went to The Range; a long stretch of flat sandy beach where her great-uncle was windsurfing with friends. It was cool on the beach and after searching among the rocks a world of small sea creatures living there, we walked up to the grassy area for protection from the wind off the water. To our delight we found wild strawberries. Juliette enjoyed eating them and would punctuate her picking with “oh yumm!” I kept walking on a bit to see if there might be more strawberries and it appears we had discovered a bounty of them. As we would come to a new patch, Juliette would mimic me with exhuberance, “oh, look at these ones – they are so big and juicy!” I noticed after almost an hour of this picking and wandering to bigger and better patches that Juliette was laying flat on her stomach to pick. When she stood up her pants and shirt were covered with bright pink stains of strawberry juice. She looked like a walking advertisement for fruit bliss. Her cheeks were rosy, “like her father” I thought, and smiled to myself, hoping the stains would come out from her clothes in the wash or her parents might think she cut herself. We walked back to the car happily filled with the juice of wild berries in our cheeks. I would not have had this day without Juliette – too busy doing chores around the house to claim such small pleasures. Now I take the time Juliette taught me never to ignore.
Another little gem is after watching a movie, cuddled in HER ROOM, we kept singing the refrain of the movies theme “everybody …everybody…every….body - wants to be a C…Cat!” As we continued this we started to dance to it. When she would wiggle her bum, as though shaking her tail or sing it to Magic who was a cat, looking at him with her shoulders raised, I would burst out laughing. It was sheer pleasure to enjoy her spirit. I fell head over heels in love.
Still we had our moments of tears. On her last day while walking to the beach she fell and dirt got into a cut on her hand. I washed it out with fresh water I found in a container near the beach, as best as I could and suggested we go home to put on a bandaide. “No, let’s stay here on the beach awhile.” That was fine with me, and after collecting old logs, sticks, shells and seaweed we made a modern sculpture from all our findings. In the end, we adorned it with wild flowers and stood back to admire our creation. I flashed back to the many Sundays that as little girls, my sister (Juliette’s grandmother) and I, made many such beautiful constructions at Westfield Beach.
When Juliette and I returned to the house after our walk her mom was on the deck, and Juliette was totally happy to see her mother. It was the sad duty mom had to clean the wound from the beach. I was a pathetic nurse. Still Juliette was brave and repaired quickly. The next day my new friend left for her home and I was left a richer person.
Love always,
Her special great aunt from Nova Scotia
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Questionable Parenting Technique
I've never claimed that I have all the answers when it comes to parenting but I do always have an opinion. Besides, it's not like parenting is an exact science, it's more like a trial by error sort of thing. Of course it's better if you can minimize the errors by identifying them early and remembering not to do it again. So when I noticed a pattern of my son hitting my daughter and pulling her hair I came up with a theory and put it in place. The theory goes that when faced with an adversary (her 2 year old brother) who will not listen when you ask him to stop hitting you need to be able to defend yourself. Of course you could always come running to mom and dad or some other authority figure but the theory is if the perpetrator respects her fighting ability he won't do it in the first place. Most parents I tell this theory too visibly cringe but I thought I’d give it a try and see what happens. So on Monday, Juliette and Nicholas were fighting in the kitchen while my wife and I were in the living room. I've been trying to teach Juliette how to fight back for a while so I was hopping she could take care of it herself. As the fight got worse I kept waiting to hear Nicholas start crying but instead I only heard Juliette and it was getting louder and louder. Finally I had to go in, break it up, give Nicholas a huge timeout for hurting his sister and comfort my daughter. I told her again that mom and dad won't always be around and if Nicholas doesn't respect her fighting ability, he will hit her whenever he feels like it. So yesterday I heard them fighting in the basement. As usual Juliette started crying first but then I heard Nicholas start crying. Then Juliette said, "OK, let's stop now and play". At this point both of them stopped fighting is started to play again. Yippee!!! When Juliette got upstairs I asked her what had happened. She looked at me with big teary eyes because she thought I was going to get her in trouble. She proceeded to tell me that Nicholas hit her and she hit him back. To which I responded, “Just like daddy told you to do yesterday?” Juliette with a smile from ear to ear nodded yes and then she gave me a huge hug. It was a classic daddy daughter moment. I didn't even need to lift a finger during the whole thing. Of course the only way I think this has a chance of working is because Juliette is twice the size of Nicholas and Nicholas is almost always the aggressor. If this backfires and Juliette becomes the bully then I'll have to try something else (and Nicholas will have this blog as evidence when he visits his therapist years from now), but for now I think my daughter is enough of a pacifist who's more interested in playing princess than beating up her little brother. Wish me luck!
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