A Conversation with Nicholas

Nicholas is really turning a corner. His vocabulary is expanding in leaps and bounds. He will make an attempt to repeat words as complicated as hippopotamus or as simple as "beer". Now, when we're driving our usually game of yelling "Bus" at the sight of one has been expanded to yelling "Truck" (pronounced Druck) and "McDonalds" (pronounced Donod). His favorite thing to yell is actually Mcdonalds. We can't get into a car anymore without him yelling it out whether there's one around or not. Other cute things he is doing is smiling on command "Where is Nicholas' smile?" and trying to wink on command. He understands everything that's asked of him and is so happy when we understand what he says in return. The other day when the babysitter got him to repeat the same word 50 times and finally understood what he was saying "McDonalds" he was soooo happy he jumped for joy (and almost got off the ground). It shouldn't be long now until Juliette and Nicholas will be able to entertain themselves on all levels. That also includes coordinating a planned resistance to our parental decisions a la Simpsons (click on title).

Fighting Princess

The other day Juliette decided to tell me a story. By the end of the story I decided to do a better job of monitoring what she sees on TV. The story went something Like this:

Juliette: "Once upon a time there were 8 princesses... No 10 princesses... No 12 princesses... Daddy, Is 12 bigger than 10?"
Daddy: "Yes Juliette."
Juliette: "How about 17? Is seventeen the biggest number?"
Daddy: "It's the biggest one you've mentioned so far."
Juliette: "Daddy, what's the biggest number?"
Daddy: "...Infinity."
Juliette (confused): "OK, so there were 17 princesses and they put on makeup and dresses and went out to fight bad guys. They found a bad guy and shot him and put a bullet in his body and he died."

That's pretty much the end of the story. What's the moral of this story? Is it don't be a bad guy and you'll avoid getting shot by the fighting princesses? No, the moral of this story is don't let your child pick whatever video they want the next time you visit Rogers Video even if they're in the kids section where everything is rated G. Can you figure out what video I let her rent? Click on the title of this blog to find out.

Boo

Something my kids love doing is hiding and scaring people. They hide so well now that it takes up to 5 minutes of searching to find them is a not very large upstairs floor of our house. It used to be that if you had trouble finding them you could just say "Where's Nicholas" and he would call out "Here". But now they hide in closets, under beds and in bathtubs. If you happen to be babysitting them one night, beware, they will hide and they will jump out and say "Boo!". It's gotten to the point where now even my wife is in on the act (this is from the girl who threaten to leave me if I didn't get ride of a motion sensor activated dinosaur that I had hid in a bathroom). Scaring people in general is not well received on my wife's side of the family but it was always part of my upbringing (thanks dad).
The link of this blog will direct you to the character the aforementioned toy was based on.

Play Fighting

Nicholas loves to play fight. I used to try and play fight with Juliette but she always seemed a bit awkward and reserved. It was almost like she was worried about hurting someone (or herself). Nicholas doesn't have that problem. As discussed before we fight over the ball during swimming lessons and lately we fight for the fun of it. Usually a good fight will end up with him upside down and laughing his head off. Unfortunately he picks on his sister as well and, being a princess, she doesn't usually fight back. She usually tells the King or Queen about how naughty the prince is. Today's link will guide you to the movie our family watched together last night, it was very good.

Stinky Bum

I couldn't think of anything to write in my blogger today and then I received a humorous link by email (click on the title). It reminded me that Nicholas loves to tell the world he has a stinky bum. The next time you're around, and he needs a diaper change ask the room "Who has a stinky bum?" and Nicholas will proudly proclaim, in a loud toddler voice "MEEE". It's adorable. Now, whenever the boy needs a diaper changed, I ask him the question at least 2 or 3 times just because it's so damn cute.

Chinese Zodiac

Ever since I told Juliette that she was born in the year of the dragon she has been fascinated with the scary creature. At one point she insisted that we all turn into our Chinese zodiac animals because she wanted very badly to be a dragon (and who can blame her). I proclaimed, I wanted to be a dragon as well but she responded that I should be a Rat instead (which is my sign). Her mother is an Ox and Nicholas is a Horse. When I told her that you can't just turn into an animal and it doesn't matter how much you "want" it to happen she wasn't impressed.

Today in the car she told me she wanted a pet. I asked her what kind of pet she wanted and she chose a dragon. I asked her what she wanted to feed him and she said horses. I asked her if she would prefer to get another pet like a rat (mom's most hated pet) or even a dog but she was pretty insistent on a horse eating dragon. I explained to her that a horse eating dragon would cost a lot of money so she decided to go for a miniature one like the dragon on Mulan "Mushu". At the end of the conversation I told her that dragons didn't exist but she didn't seem to upset. I think she had already figured that out. On a side note, I did find it a little disturbing that Juliette (the Dragon) chose the horse (Nicholas' sign) as food but I'm sure it was only a coincidence. They get along great.
My link of the day is a picture of a dragon eating a horse (click on the title).

The Easy Way and the Hard Way

Nicholas has been very difficult recently. The boy is getting over a cold. When our kids are sick we let them get away with murder. This makes sense, it's no fun being sick so it's OK to spoil them if it makes them feel better, Right? But, what we've noticed is that once they get better, they have no intension of going back to the status quo. You can kiss your bedtime routine goodbye because they'll have none of it. What I do if they don't cooperate is to put them to bed the hard way. That means no Song, no Stories, no Milk, and no cuddling time. In other words you drop them in their bed, walk away and let them cry themselves to sleep. Even though the sound of your child crying is heart wrenching don't kid yourself, this is a power struggle. That means if you give them an inch then they'll take a mile. The last time we did this to Juliette she was about 2ish. She was being very difficult one night so I asked her if she wanted to go to bed the hard way or the easy way. She continued to be difficult so I put her to bed the hard way. To this day she remembers. All I have to do when she becomes uncooperative is to ask her if she wants to go to bed the hard way or the easy way and she always chooses the latter (anyone who babysits for us can use this technique). I hope Nicholas figures it out soon. It's been 3 nights now that I've put him in bed without the routine. He cries himself to sleep and it breaks my heart. What he wants is for Mom to put him to bed but on nights when she's out it's just not an option. It's easy to feel guilty and quite sad about the situation but I'm still convinced it will be better in the long run. I know I like to pretend I have all the answers but really what I'm including in this blogger is stuff that works for me and in no way is the only way of doing things.
Today's link of the day (click on the title) will bring you to Suzette's blogger. She's lots a fun to hang out with and great with my kids.

Soccer Girl

As a parent you know what you should be doing but it's soooo difficult sometimes to actually practice what you preach. So when Juliette told us Saturday morning that she didn't want to go to Soccer (her 1st ever session). We told her, what we thought good parents would, that she should try it out and if she didn't like it then she could do something else. What I was really thinking was please, please don't just sit on the side and watch the other kids play (like ballet). So when the practice started I was prepared for the worse. What I got was a very happy and talented 4 year old playing soccer who even scored a goal. Sure there were a few kids crying with their parents holding their hands, but for once, my child wasn't one of them! During the practice I was afflicted by a strange sort of tunnel vision. All I could see was Juliette running around after the ball with a huge smile on her face while the other (14) kids slowly went out of focus and blended into the background. When she scored a goal I had to control myself from jumping for joy. Am I going to be the type of dad who yells encouraging things from the sideline? Probably. Am I going to be the type of dad who pushes my child to compete regardless of what they want? I hope not. Am I going to be the type of dad who gets into a physical fight with other parents or the referee? I think I'll personally ban myself from the games before that happens. I don't need her to be the next Mia Hamm (click on the title of this Blog if you don't know who she is), even though deep down I'll be hopping she is, all I want is for Juliette to get the same satisfaction from a sport or hobby that I get every time I step on the Ultimate field.

Color Blind

Children are color blind. When I say color, I mean race. Juliette and Nicholas are half Asian and they don't have a clue what that is and that's fine with me. Juliette's school is filled with a variety of races. One of her good friends is blond with Asian eyes. I love it. The other day we were looking at a ball with Barbie figures on it and I asked her to pick out the Chinese Barbie. She responded with "There are no Chinese ones daddy, they're all English" referring of course to the language she envisioned the Barbie's all speaking. You can hardly tell they're part Asian anyway. Most people can't decide if they look more like mom or dad but we all agree that comparing baby pictures, they look almost identical. I love the mixing of race and culture and I'm convinced that it will make the world a better place. To better understand the Asian culture (at least the one I familiar with here in North America), check out the link I've included in this posting, it does an excellent job describing the personality of 99% of the Asian girls I know (although perhaps with a little less swearing).

He's no wimp

My wife was stating how it was unfair for the second child to always be compared to the first. I don't see it as a bad thing, it's something all parents do. Even when there was only Juliette she was being compared to other kids her own age. Every parent does it because we need to have confirmation that our child is developing OK and will have a chance at being a great success in life. During the discussion we realized one of the biggest differences between our two children is that Nicholas is no wimp (unlike his sister). The boy can fall hard, scrap his knee and come up laughing about it. The other day he gave me a headbut so hard that I yelped in pain. As I reached down to pick him up and console the poor kid expecting a flood of tears, he looked at me and laughed! If that had been Juliette she would have cried for hours. I guess it's to be expected. Nicholas has to be a little tougher because Juliette is twice his size and loves to man-handle him. If Nicholas wasn't tough life would be much noisier in our little house. Juliette has always been a wimp, and an easy target for school-yard bullies. I'm hoping that Nicholas will defend his big sister and fight her battles for her.

Why?

From the time Juliette started saying her first words it seems she has been asking me Why? She would ask so frequently that we made her phrase her questions in the form of a sentence so I could make sure she understood what I just said, as opposed to the "Why?, Why? Why?" Routine. Last year her most favorite question was, "Why is it raining?", and every time I would explain the natural cycle of evaporation, clouds etc... I would have liked to respond "Because the Angels in heaven are crying, probably because of something you did." but that kind of goes against my unofficial rules of parenting (someday I'll right them down). My favorite questions recently have been: "What is a n-idiot daddy?", "Daddy, are you going to go hunt a deer?", "How does the baby get out of my belly?", "When am I going to die?", "Which team is Canada? (asked during any sporting event)" and "What is Earth". You become so use to answering questions all the time that it becomes second nature. I always try to answer them as truthfully as possible so that the answers remain consistent. Then the other day I realized something had changed in our relationship. At the ripe old age of 4 she's stopped asking questions about every single thing in the world. She's started to provide me with answers. Even when the answers were wrong, like when I discussed with her the meaning of being bored, she sticks to her guns and insist she is right. Do I miss the old Juliette, a little but the quite time is nice. Of course Nicholas is learning a new word every day so it won't be quite for very long and that's a fact.

Mother's Day 2004

Mother's Day has come and gone and the children were at their best. When I say best I'm not trying to claim that they were angels and they listened to their parents or that they made breakfast for mommy in bed or anything like that. They acted just like a 2 and 4 year old would and that's the best I could hope for.

Since it was mother's day I'd like to jot down a few of thoughts as to why my wife has earned to be spoiled by the kids at least one day each year:
-When Juliette was in the CHEO emergency with an asthma attack at the age of 1, we spent the night at the hospital and mommy spent some of her time sleeping with baby in the crib under an oxygen tent.
-When the kids get to choose who's going to put them to bed it's always mommy because she hugs and kisses them the best.
-When the kids need clothes that fit (and match), it's mom who makes them magically appear and always at an affordable price
-When the kids are crying themselves to sleep (until a solid bedtime routine is established), it's mommy who is two floors away shedding her own tears while daddy sleeps in the next room like a log.
-When the babies needed to be fed/changed/hugged at night mommy did it all
(Don't even get me started on that whole pregnancy and delivery mess, if men were the ones having the babies there wouldn't be any.)

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Rice

Our kids eat rice almost everyday. That's because their mom is Chinese and when it comes to cooking, she's taught me everything I know. So at the age of 4 my daughter is an expert on rice. So much so that she has complained to however will listen that the rice at her daycare is just not up to par. I assume they use some instant variety which can't possibly compare the high quality product of a half decent rice cooker. But come on folks, this is plain white rice we're talking about with a little bit of Soya sauce, not lobster or chicken Kiev. How important can quality rice be? Apparently important enough for my daughter to insist that we bring in a sample of "real" rice topped with Kung Fu brand Soya sauce for her teacher to try out in a blind taste test. This amuses her teacher very much and the next day the kids have rice scheduled on the menu perhaps I'll sent a batch to day care for everyone to try out.

Milestone & Radio Show

Milestone
Well the weather is getting warmer and the kids are playing outside more. Yesterday I saw Juliette help her little brother climb into a swing in our back yard and buckle him in. She preceded to push him to his and her delight. I thought is was great! My kids playing together and more importantly helping each other out while both having fun. The rest of the time Nicholas spent spraying water at various targets with a spray bottle (favorite targets are people, the BBQ and his mouth), while Juliette spent an unbelievable amount of time on the swing and then complaining that her hands hurt afterwards (no kidding).

Radio Show
One of our family traditions is to listen to Stuart McLean on CBC Radio every Sunday from noon to one. Our favorite part of the show is his telling of (fictional) stories based on a middle class family of 4 living in Toronto. This past Sunday it was a flashback episode to when Dave "the father" experienced his first pregnancy and birth of their daughter. It brought back memories of when we had Juliette. The kids for some reason caught on to the fact that the story coming from the radio was supposed to be funny (due to the fact that it was recorded in front of a live studio audience) and every time there was a pause in the story for the audience to laugh the kids would laugh hysterically. They were quite noisy but very cute. Near the end of the story the father mentions that upon seeing his baby for the first time he began to cry. The reason he gives for crying is the fact that someday that baby girl will break his heart. At which point I said out loud "I guess that's true, someday Juliette will break my heart." Juliette was not impressed and told me that this would not happen. I told her someday she would move out and get married. She insisted that she would stay at home forever and if she did move out she would make sure it was to the house right beside my own. The thought was very sweet but I don't think I'll hold her to it.

Shopping with Kids

There are two ways one can shop with kids (my kids at least). The right way and the wrong way. The wrong involves both parents looking for what to buy and asking the kids to stay near and give the occasional opinion.
The right way is getting one parent (preferably the mom) to do all the shopping while the other parent's (that would be me) sole responsibility is to play and not lose a kid. My favorite rule is telling Juliette that "I don't care what you do or where you go just make sure you're with Nicholas." That way I just have to keep my eye on one of them. Our favorite games in stores usually involve kicking balls down ails, watching Disney movies on $8,000 TV's and running pretty much everywhere. Before kids I hated shopping and my wife hated shopping with me. With kids a trip to Zellers is as much fun as a trip to Wonderland.
Note of caution; never buy anything for your kids when they ask for it in the store. If you need/want to buy them a toy wait until they are not around. If the kids know they can get stuff out of you through whining and complaining inside a store, shopping will end up being more a war of wills and less of a trip to the park.