Running Errands

I'm the running errand guy. You know, in every relationship jobs end up being divided up amongst the parents. Like my wife being in charge of family organizing (macro & micro), washing dishes, planting gardens and doing homework with the kids. I tend to do waste management (garbage), yard management (lawn duty), financial management, human waste management (accidents) and errand running. All the other jobs such as cooking, cleaning and laundry are more of a team effort. I like the errand running, I enjoy driving and getting out of the house. Since Juliette was born I've asked whether she'd like to join me on these outings and usually the answer is no. This weekend I went on two errands and Nicholas kept me company on both. This blog is about those adventures. Mission 1, go to the grocery store, purchase two whole chickens and bring it back in time to cook them for dinner with the aunties on Halloween night. Nicholas is always ready and readily volunteered for the mission. We secured a shopping cart close to the car and after convincing him that he would be more comfortable sitting in the kid area as opposed to the grocery area we were on our way. The boy loves to talk and ask lots of questions. Going down the aisles he usually asks, "What's that?” When you tell him what it is, he repeats it the best he can. Something like "Nicholas, that's olives", "Owives?” "Yes, olives". He also asks, "Where we're going?” "To by chickens", "Chickens, buk, buk?” "That's right chickens". After the chicken we picked up crackers and cereal. He loves repeating everything I say especially the boring stuff. The line was really long but I let him run free and he always came back, usually without some candy in his hand. Overall the mission was a success and we returned home with our chickens as heroes. Mission 2, go to the shopping center and exchange a TV antenna. Nicholas again volunteered for the job. Except this time it was late afternoon, he hadn't had his nap yet and there would be lots of toys at the store to distract him. Mission impossible started with an entertaining car ride. It's so easy to make 2 year olds laugh; it's like shooting fish in a barrel. All you need to do is say "Nooooo" with the tone of voice like what the child is asking for is crazy and he will laugh his head off. As we walked to the mall it was raining and he kept on asking where my hood was. I told him I didn't have one and I pulled his off his hood and asked him where his was. These types of games never get old. At the mall I had three challenges. The coin-op mechanical rides, the toy store and the electronics store. I convinced Nicholas that the we'd play on the coin-op toys on the way out and he bought it. The toy store was a little more challenging. He loved the Thomas the train display and we had fun fighting with small to-scale rubber animals (the best being the dinosaurs). It also didn't help that the electronics store was taking forever with the exchange. To keep Nick distracted I pulled a giant remote control fire truck off the shelf and handed him the remote. The truck didn't work but wouldn't you know it a low-rider race car vaulted off its shelf into an unsuspecting customer about 20 feet away from us. Sure enough the fire truck remote was controlling the race car. So I brought the race car over to entertain Nicholas. This worked for a little while until Nick, not quite understanding the concept of "remote control", started using his foot to direct the vehicle where he wanted it to go. After a few kicks to the car and an evil look from one of the workers I picked him up and showed him the fire truck again. I can't believe how long they took to do the exchange. When it was finally done both of us were tired and wanted to get out of the mall ASAP. So I put him on my shoulders and started for the door. Nicholas kept lifting his shirtfront and putting it over my head until it covered my eyes. Not only did Nicholas laugh hysterically when I said I couldn't see, but everyone else in the mall that saw us smiled as well. We were almost home free when the coin-op toys got his attention. I had to let him play in them. Now the key to leaving anywhere such as a park or toy store without your kid kicking and screaming in the process is not to tell him/her "If you don't come right now quietly, we'll never come back! I can't believe this is the thanks I get for me bringing you here in the first place!" What works way better is "OK, Nick 5 more minutes and we have to leave", followed by "OK, 1 more minutes", then an "OK, this is the last ride". Is this spoiling the kid? Perhaps, but this way you leave on time with a child who is not kicking and screaming. Especially if you start the routine early you can leave exactly when you wanted to leave in the first place. Overall it was mission accomplished. Nicholas was finally tired enough to take his pre-Halloween nap and I accomplished what I wanted to do. I hope I continue getting volunteers for future missions.